I lost her. I was hoping she’d stop me out of nowhere & say “this is your time to make things right. Do it right this time”. But, no. Now I’m in this hospital bed & all i can do is think about her. Listening to Coldplay as i would every time before i’d meet up with her back then. Strawberry Swing most of those times. I hate throwing away something i know could have been awesome & special. I want her so bad & cant. Fuck. Fuck everything.